I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we're making bets on your personal life
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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