Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
