the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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