2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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