I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize