i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
