So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
