No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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