my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
