and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
