I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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