I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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