What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
