Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
