I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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