I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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