Is it normal to miss your booty call?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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