so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
