i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
