i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
