i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize