remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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