I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
