My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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