It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
