Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
