you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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