Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
