The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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