wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize