I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
