I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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