can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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