using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
