apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
third nipple confirmed
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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