Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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