do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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