how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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