this boner is exhausting
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
