u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
