yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
the liver wants what the liver wants
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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