that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
