This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
