they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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