Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
