Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
