dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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