my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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