Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
