so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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