Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
