Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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