There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
