Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
