K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i think i just lost a toe
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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