he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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