I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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