I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
