why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize